apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
