i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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