if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
