but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I could make wine with my vomit
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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