so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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