I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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