that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize