that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
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I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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