You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize