Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
