just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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