So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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