HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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