he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
