Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
