instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
