i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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