my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize