So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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