it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
