we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
