this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
