so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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