so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
