i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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