I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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