worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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