i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Randomize