Three words: puerto rican gang bang
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
