guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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