love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
