the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
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We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
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how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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