did you get engaged???
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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