I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
