Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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