Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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