shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I can text with my tongue
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
