...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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