dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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