Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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