Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
