and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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