Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
