College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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