i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize