I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
