I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
