my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
