Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
