i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
