idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
