Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
