Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
