they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize