so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
