a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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