he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Girls should come with a carfax report
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
