Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
