Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
