Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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