New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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