i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
birth control should be required to get into college
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
