It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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